Our society in the United States today is very much externally-oriented. By this, I mean that we are socialized that it is a noble thing to put others needs before your own. We are also taught that success comes with sacrifice and hard work, and the American way is to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and work ourselves to the bone to achieve the American Dream - whatever that dream is to each of us. We admire those who ended working harder than everybody else and now they have what everybody wants.In other cultures, it is so very natural to do almost the 180 of that perspective. In eastern cultures for example, it is understood that one needs to cultivate oneself in order to cultivate what one wants in life.
Today, let's explore that viewpoint a bit. It is something that has come up very prominently for me in the past few weeks. I would love to share my insights with you, and to welcome any insights in the comment boxes below.
Are we ready for the Secret to better work? Are we ready for the Secret to giving more? You might have already guessed it.
Here it is. In order to improve our work or performance, we need to take care of ourselves first. In order to take care of others, we need to take care of ourselves first.
Well, duh, we say.
But do we actually do this?
How many times have we sacrificed sleep in order to finish writing that paper? Or skipped a meal because we were late for work? Or sacrificed the workout in order to study or work? Or missed a family dinner because of working late or a meeting etc.?
We have basic needs. They are generally relatively the same, but each person is tailored differently. Let me share a little bit of my findings here with you with examples from my own life.
In order for me to function well, I need at least 7 hours of sleep. I also know that exercising in the morning helps me stay energized and focused throughout the day. I know that daily meditation helps me personally be more efficient and effective. I know that eating healthy, fresh foods on a regular schedule also greatly contributes to my energy. Lastly, I know that contact with uplifting friends and family and practicing daily gratitude is healthy for my state of mind.
Until recently, very rarely did I do all, or any, or these things in one day. It wasn't until I wrote down the things that I knew helped me function well or at a high level, and implemented them all in one day for a week, that I realized how deficient I was in all of these areas...and how much my work and relationships had been lacking as a result.
When I wasn't doing any of these habits that make me function well, I felt like I was constantly playing catch-up. I was always running low on fuel, rushing to get things done, and getting frustrated when I was under pressure and couldn't focus. Can you think of a time when you have felt this way? I then did what we are taught to do in American society, which is sacrifice more to achieve more. Unfortunately, this lack of self-care only heightened my stress level, and inhibited me from completing the tasks I needed to complete and making the connections I needed to make in my relationships.
When I began implementing these habits of self-care in my daily routine, my abilities expanded. I go to bed at a reasonable time, when my body feels tired, and wake up at relatively the same time every day. I do my daily exercise, shower, meditate, and eat a healthy breakfast. My day is off to a great start; this is usually all completed before 10am, and earlier if possible, depending on my body's needs. I feel focused and energized.
Here are some of my own observations of my life after implementing my habits of self-care:
- The quality of my work has increased. I've aced my past two exams and wowed my professor with my recent research proposal. The ability to produce great results comes from implementing habits that make me perform at a high level.
- My capacity for altruism has expanded. Now that I have satisfied my own basic needs and am taking care of myself, I am more aware of other peoples' energy levels and their needs. I am able to put 100% of my energy into helping them. My relationships with other people are more positive and lighthearted. I don't feel this dark cloud of not getting enough done hanging over my head, so I feel free to be myself. They feed off of my energy, and we uplift each other.- There's more space in my head. It's not jittery or taken up by stress or my To-Do List. I'm able to get done what I need to get done, and somehow in the extra time, I have profound ideas, grasp abstract concepts, and am able to see how much I have to be grateful for in my life. I feel like my eyes have been opened, and that my vision has finally cleared up. I write down these ideas or perspectives in a reflection journal as they come.
- The quality of my life and my overall well-being has improved.
So there we have it. These are observations I have noticed in my own life once I started taking care of myself. I encourage you not to take my word for it, and to try taking care of yourself and observing what happens in your own life. Everyone is different, so what works for me to perform at a high level may not be the same for you.
Here are 10 action steps to expanding your capabilities:
1. Don't believe me.
2. Decide to try this or not. (If not, stop reading.)
3. Observe how your life feels to you at this point in your life.
4. Understand what makes you function at a high level. For example, what makes you:
- Alert? - Energized? - Healthy?
- Focused? - Happy? - Calm?
5. Understand how to implement these things in your life in a daily routine. If you have questions about how to do this, comment below and I'll do my best to help you.
6. Implement self-care.
7. Continue for at least a week, preferably three-four weeks.
8. Observe how your life feels to you at this point in your life.
9. Adjust if necessary.
10. Continue to implement and observe.
Let us know how it goes for you :)
Here is an interesting article about the Top 5 wishes dying people had. Quite intriguing; if you found this post relevant to you, this article may be as well.
Thank you for sharing my insights with me today. Have a wonderful rest of your day, and a better tomorrow!
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